Disney Dream?

So, as far as I can remember I have been a Disney fanatic! I love all things Mickey<3 ..I even struggle at times to decorate my whole house Disney, but then I think of my husband and decide it probably wouldn't go over well with him.

When my girls were born, I knew that as a mom I would need to take them to Disney and show them all the magic and wonderfulness it has.  I mean that's what you do for little girls, all mine loved Disney Princesses and I may have pushed Disney on them at times....
I didn't go to Disney until I was 18, but I loved every minute of it.  I didn't want to wait that long to take my girls, ideally I thought somewhere around age seven would be perfect.  It didn't really work out that way, when the twins were six I became pregnant and thought best to take them all together when Emma was older.

SO fast forward to this year.  We finally made it a priority to take a Disney family vacation.  I was so pumped, every time I thought about seeing their faces light up when we got to the park I became teary-eyed.  It has been a dream of mine to give them this magical experience.  October couldn't come fast enough!  We decided not to stay on the property, we were only going to Magic Kingdom for one day, because frankly that was all we could afford.  I bought everyone a brand new Disney shirt and we didn't tell Emma, just to make it more fun.  After our hour drive we arrived at the park!  Walking through the front gate I was bursting with anticipation to have them experience everything!

Our day was full of rides, lines, food and RAIN.  Yep, it rained, on and off, but enough to dampen some of the magic.  The characters do not come out in the rain. :(  When I went, 16 years ago, it was so cool to turn a corner and see Alice, Tigger, or even Mickey standing there!  But now the characters are at meet & greet spots at various times throughout the park....not as exciting and magical plus the lines were long, some even an hour or more wait.  And as I said before characters do not come out in the rain :'(   We had planned to stay all night, watch the electric parade and fireworks, but by seven, my girls were done, ready to head home!  We hadn't even gone on It's a Small World or through the Haunted Mansion, not to mention barely saw a handful of characters!  I was so disappointed, I had failed them, I did not deliver the magical experience that I had dreamed of for 14 years and as we left I finally shed the tears that I thought would come to me as I saw their happy, excited, magic-filled faces...but it was for sadness, that I could not give them the experience that they so deserved.

So here I am with memories of a Disney vacation that I could do-over, 1000 times better than the one I gave them.....

Taken after we entered the park, before the
disappointment set in. 

3rd times a charm...right?

Ok, so I have been MIA for about a year and a half, get over it!  Life is busy and crazy and so short. So, I think because of the fact that my little sister has been updating her blog I feel inclined to start again.  So here's the third time I am starting this post, let's see how far we get.

The last time I tried this I talked about my journey on becoming healthier, kind of a way to be accountable.  I did pretty well, until the holidays.  Hey!  Last winter was harsh, living in Indiana sucks!  I hate winter and cold and snow and freezing.  So baking got me through and also adding about 23 pounds.

So here we are, the twins are freshmen  in high school and little red is in second grade, I told you life is short!  It feels like I was just in high school, so how can I have high schoolers??  It's crazy how quickly your babies are no longer babies. As the get older I am more and more proud of who they are becoming. So far, I must say I think the mister and I have done a fantastic job!

Stick around and let's see where this takes us

Missed me haven't you??

Yep, this is for my one follower, but hey atleast I have one and myself. 
So quick update, I must say that I completed one month of p90x and that was it!! It is a very repetitve workout program, which to me gets very BORING!  Seriously, the same stuff every 5 days, can drive a girl crazy.  Now I do revert back to some of the disks, but I like so mix things up, helps to keep me interested and motivated.  Oddly enough though I continue to do Zumba, been doing that for almost 2 years now!  it is just so fun!  Like a dance party! 

So, I am not one for "pills" and I must confess that I did use lab created "pills" last March to help with my weight loss...I was so nervous with them, anything created in a lab scares me, but then these are not to be taken for more than 90 days..definately not a good thing.  Now I did lose 12 pounds in that one month with them, which was great, but I choose not to continue with them because I did not like the effects it had on my body.  Naturally I gained the weight back and more which is why I started tracking exercise in this blog.  Get to the point, right?  Well, here I was, 156 pounds and dragging ass.  My baby is 5, so the excuse of baby weight kinda past it's expiration date!  I had been feeling good with eating right and doing my p90x, but was still struggling with portion control and lack of enery-pretty much none existant.  I came across a friend of mines success story by taking "pills".  But these are all natural, she had hit a plateu while on weight watchers and started taking All Natural Assets.  I loved that she talked about extra energy, and how it curbed her appetite..I must try these.  Plus, they are all natural!!! I started adding these to my daily vitamin routine back in January, I believe and I noticed so many wonderful things!!  I had extra energy, didn't want to eat everything in sight, felt great about myself, my mind felt clearer, no more daily headaches.. and I lost 12 pounds in the first 2 weeks!! 

Now, here I am, about 3 months later and 17 pounds lighter and still feeling great!! I did stop taking these "pills" for about 2 weeks while I was on antibiotics and did not gain back anything, in fact I lost another pound in that time!  I fluxuate between 139-141, but I haven't seen this weight since before little red!  my clothes fit great, truthfully I may have to buy smaller sizes, dang it!!  My already sexy Mister started these the same time I did and he is down about 25 pounds, and looking so good!! It's crazy! 
I am not trying to sound like an infomercial, I am just so proud of what I have accomplished so far and of course share it! Maybe rub it in a bit?? Na, I wouldn't do that!

before 156 pounds

now 140 pounds

Now, I am clearly not bikini ready, but dang it!! I am beach ready!!

Findng joy in saddness

My "full-time", paid, job I work as a libraian in an elementary school, the 2nd paying job is as an office assistant in a funeral home.  I have only been working in the funeral home for 6 months, my daily office duities are becoming easier.  But the saddness that I feel for a family when they come in to make arrangements for their loved one I hope never fades.  1) because it ensures that I am still a human with a heart  and 2) it keeps me humble.  I find happiness and greatfulness in their sorrow, it reminds me how precious our time is .  We are not guaranteed tomorrow and I treasure my time with the ones that I love so much more. I also find that I try to live my life a little more fuller than I had in the past.

Electric Beach

Ok, so I am so sick of this crappy, gloomy, cold, snowy weather! I was/am in much need of vitamin D. I have a friend that ownes a tanning salon, I have not been there for several years and she is always so nice to me, so I thought that I would go in for a visit.  (I usually use another salon.)  So I go in thinking to spend about $10, I didn't bring in my lotion so I was needing to purchase a small sample.  Well to my surprise it cost me almost $18!!!  Are you kidding me??  I didn't say anything because I love this girl, so I gritted my teeth and handed over the money.  As I stepped into the bed, I enjoy the stand-ups, I was not impressed.  The booths that I usually use has it's own personal radio/cd player and trashcan, little touches but I enjoy them.  This one did not, it did have a very skinny mirror on the door?    After I had left I just wanted to throw up thinking about the amount of money that I had spent.  I could have went 3x for that much at my regular place!  So, as much as I love that girl, I will NEVER be going back to her salon again.  I like knowing that I will be paying $5.50 each time and always feel satisfied when I leave.

Taking away a piece of innocence

As I said before, being a mother is one of my greatest joys and accomplishments, but it is also a tough and exhausting job!  This past Christmas was the toughest, my twins are 10 1/2 and are in an intermediate school.  They had asked for the past few years about whether Santa was real of not, of course I did what every mom would do, I would either ignore their questions or reassure them in some way that he was.  No one wants to be the one to end that magical feeling.  Well this year was it, they had been asking questions for 2 weeks and had even informed me that their friends were making fun of them for still believeing.  I can hear you now, "no!! You didn't!" But yes, I had to, they were no longer in elementary school and I hate the thought of them being the kids people make fun of because they still believe this magical man comes to their house.  I did the best that I could, kept the dream alive in them for 10 years.  So I told them the true story of St. Nicholas and explained that I, to this very day, still believe in him, he was once a real man. He brought joy to many people and that we continue to honor him every Christmas, just as we do the birth of Jesus.  Of course I could hear the heartbreak in their voices, and it broke my heart to tell them.  I cried for half and hour after that, but we will still continue our traditions, letters to Santa, milk and cookies, I told them that even after they are grown I will still continue with them.   As for the Tooth Fairy and Eater Bunny, they are still real!  Aub said that she didn't want to know about that! Love that girl!

My Best Friend

 That's a pretty big title to give someone.  I lost my best friend 9 years ago when a drunk driver hit her car and killed her.  They say that time heals all wounds, or the pain heals with time.  Not true.  You just get better at going through your daily life/routine.  She left behind 2 sisters, who are like sisters to me, we're not as close as I would like us to be, but we are still apart of each other's lives and I love them dearly.  They each now have their own family, Missy-2 boys and the only girl and Shell- 2 boys.  The two older boys I have gotten to see alot these past few years in the school that I work at.  I love those little boogers!  They have her spirit.  Just today Jalen was telling me that he found pictures of Jen and I together, he thought they were pretty funny.  I laughed, remembering all the good times that we spent together and as I walked away I cried.  The boys will never know her, never know how alike they are, never know what they have missed out on.  Like I said the pain doesn't heal in time, it gets bearable, but then there are always those unexpected moments that hit you like a freight train, you never see them coming.  I consider my self privileged, to not only have known Jen, but to be honored as her best friend as well.